And with the way our world works these days, my ‘village’ as such are all juggling the busyness of their own lives & I found myself drowning, not knowing how to get my ‘village’ working for me (so to speak).

Truth be told …. I still haven’t. Instead I’ve turned my energy into creating a product that re-ignites one of the most important aspects of Motherhood. Her Village.

Rallying the sisters (and brothers), the parents, the aunts (& uncles), the friends….. encouraging them to nurture the MOTHER …. Creating a Modern Day Village. And although it may not ever be what it was, bringing the attention back to parenting TOGETHER, not alone …. Is the goal. 

Up until the last hundred years or so, women have always lived in extended family groups (and in many non-western cultures, they often still do)- at the very least you’d have had one set of parents living with you, not to mention being very community minded; close with your neighbours and surrounding families. These women were kin, they formed the village. We are meant to group together – it’s the nature of our species and especially our gender. We are meant to parent together, with other mums, with elders, sisters, aunts and cousins who pass on wisdom and help us every day. From a young age, we were meant to be watching & assisting the women around us as they first had their children – this is how we learnt. We were not, ever, supposed to have done this alone.

Historically, we didn’t need to read endless conflicting parenting advice; we had the on-hand guidance of generations of experts. Surrounded by our ‘village’ we never had to face challenging situations on our own; we were backed by a league of our women who knew just what to do.  We were cared for postpartum and when we were sick and if we were tired the kids would be scooped away by a sister or an aunt so that we could rest. We understood each other’s needs, as women, as mothers.

But unfortunately, this sense of community, this “village” we instinctively crave & need has not followed through into modern day parenting. We have somehow socially evolved far beyond our biological norm, and we now isolate ourselves as mothers. We live in tiny family units instead of groups, where we are often the only adult female – we are matriarch and novice all in one. We are usually the prime caregiver, outnumbered by several children who, historically, would have been raised side by side with the other women around us.  We choose to (and in many cases NEED to) work away from the home, then feel guilty for having to do so. We are full time mums and full-time workers, chefs, cleaners, problem solvers, babysitters, negotiators. We try and do the work of a village on our own, feeling a sense of failure and setting standards for ourselves that are unattainable in this modern standard. As women we CAN do anything, and that should be celebrated. However, our cultural norm these days is for ONE woman to do EVERYTHING. And that is never going to work. 

I know I am NOT ALONE in my struggles, in my thoughts. The Modern Day Mother has pressure on her in ways mothers have never had before. With the added responsibilities that we take on and the absence of the highly important, but seemingly forgotten – VILLAGE – it is no surprise that 1 in 5 women experience post partum depression symptoms during the first years of their childrens lives.

We have replaced the village with one person; Ourselves. We have replaced the women around us with white noise machines, baby swings, electronic cots and a million different pages on Instagram throwing conflicting advice every time we look. We were never ready for this loss, for this quite isolating shift towards “modern parenting”. 

We may never be able to create the ‘VILLAGE’ that once was – but what we can do, is take the steps to BE THE VILLAGE for the women around you. And this journal helps bring awareness to this, with practical steps for the Modern Day Mum, and her Modern Village.